WE HAVE MOVED :D 3:23 PM

Gone to a new site with a way cooler user interface :D All new posts will be over there at www.spiky.co.nr, while the archives will stay here for the time being, until the people who make the blog software add support for data migration. CYA OVER THERE! :)

NCDCC Camp Reflections 11:51 PM

Where should I start.....

I guess I was disappointed. With someone. A fellow S/NCO. He knew that the camp dates had been shifted 1 week earlier well before the exams even started. But he didn’t tell anyone, not even any of us S/NCOs, until 1 day before the camp itself. By then he had created his own camp schedule without discussing it with any other S/NCO. He didn’t even have the courtesy to call at an appropriate time when he finally did, at 11:45 pm, two nights before the camp.

The year 2 NCOs should have been planning the camp. We all told them they would get to. The way this person just came along with his own schedule and using that instead would certainly have disappointed the year 2 NCOs greatly. That’s not even begging to describe the disappointment of those year 2s who were on the original list of NCOs, who were replaced with his list, again without prior discussion with other S/NCOs.

In fact the right to select the year 2 NCOs is that of the year 2 I/Cs. He was year 1 I/C and thus could not possibly have spent as much time with the year 2s as the year 2 I/Cs to properly get to know the year 2s.

Despite all this and the S/NCOs frank expression of our upset, he didn’t bother with an apology nor an explanation to the year 2 NCOs. Even the way he carried himself at our meetings, the tone with which he spoke in and the diction which he used, might have suggested a disregard for other people’s feelings.

Maybe that was the reason why we fell out as friends two and a half years ago.

Because he couldn’t care less about other people’s thoughts, other people’s opinions, other people’s feelings.

I did consider writing this addressed straight to him, with “you” instead of “him” being the word of choice in the text. But I didn’t, because I figured that it wouldn’t matter anymore anyway. Even if he bothered to read it, he’d just do what he did before, which is to print the whole thing out, find me in class, and tell me that he’s right and I’m wrong.

I’ve talked to him before, and we talked about how we felt about each other’s way of interacting with other people. When it got to talking about him, I’ve always told him about how many other people feel that he goes about stepping on everyone’s toes, and while what goes around might be somewhat exaggerated, I’m not inclined to believe that it is all untruths.

Right now I’ve already said everything I wanted to say about that to him. There’s nothing really left to say anymore. I don’t know whether he actually took me seriously and actually considered some of the viewpoints that were brought up. But anyway, it feels like now is the appropriate time for me to just wish him all the best in life, and walk out of his.

Of Musical Rocks 12:42 AM

Today was awesome :)

A Math Paper 2 today was the last exam paper :) After the paper, we celebrated Ms Ong's birthday outside the staff-room, and uhhh disturbing the Year 4 exam in the process XD After that, gonna go watch Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs with Jon Tang, Saurabh and Ben Tay :D Ms Ong already watched the movie so we kinda had a conversation about it XD

Then after the birthday celebration we went to chase Ms Ho around the front porch of the school XD This is Ms Ho trying to get us to go home...

Rush home, shower, change. Head off to VivoCity to meet Jon Tang, Saurabh and Ben Tay...

After I got there I called Jon Tang to find out where we were meeting and he said they were opposite TANGS department Store. Uhh :) And then when I got there Jon Tang and Ben Tay jumped up on me from behind XD

So we walked to the cinema first so that Saurabh would have problems finding us. Uhh Jon Tang's idea. XD And then Saurabh called to ask where we are, and so Ben Tay said we were "outside Mini Toons". LOLZ XD

We wanted to go to the basement cos there was a lot of food to choose from there. Then Saurabh suggested walking through the car-park to get there cos we went down the wrong escalator into the car-park. We did that. And promptly got lost XD.

So we went back up and went to the basement the normal way XD

We had lunch at Subway, and then we quickly headed to the cinema cos Saurabh suggested going early to watch the movie trailers. Then when we got there all they showed was commercial advertisements, so that was pretty hilarious XD. BTW to Arul who wanted to know: 2012 shows starting 12 November.

Now, about the movie Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. In a sentence, IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought it was a very meaningful movie :) On the outside it seems like some kiddie cartoon kind of show, but its actually a very thought provoking comment on love, self-identity, individuality versus conformity, and the prejudices of modern society :) It felt like a very thoughtful movie, one that prompts a kind of self reflection.

The plot was really original, and there were a couple of very moving scenes. Definitely a heck lot of funny ones :) Lots of hilarious jokes :) It was a really entertaining movie :D And the soundtrack fitted really well with the movie too :)

After the show we walked around VivoCity for a bit. Went into the National Geographic Store to look at interesting artifacts and make comments on how expensive the things were XD We went to PageONE where all the bookshelves were rotated at rather arbitrary angles...

And then we went to.............. TANGS Department Store!

Thus, the Photo of the Day,

After that we went to the roof-top where I uhh went into the kiddie splashing pools... Took some photos from in the middle of the pool, you can see the water at the bottom of the photo. Ben Tay has the photo of me in the pool XD...

And then we all sat down under the shade and breeze of one of those humungous air-con vents, listening to uhh a musical rock. See the green rock thingy in the middle of the picture? It was producing music. It played Canon in D while we were there plus some other funny piano piece XD...

It was quite a nice place to sit down and hand around :) Then we went to the pet shop, walked around a bit more, went to Harbourfront for a bit, before going home.

Anyway thanks Jon Tang, Saurabh and Ben Tay for a TOTALLY AWESOME afternoon, with all the hilarious conversations about everything under the sun :)

You guys totally made my day :)

Upset 10:08 AM

You know that feeling when nothing seems to go right?

Like how you know that you couldn’t have done any better but what you did was still bad anyway.....

Like knowing you tried your best but knowing that that that isn’t even enough...

That’s how things are looking like from where I am.

Pretty much every paper was messed up save for Language Arts and Biology. Even the papers that were apparently easy according to many other people like Chemistry and A Math’s I messed up too.

Its not like I’m lazy and couldn’t care less or anything. I did the past year papers weeks in advance. I read the textbook cover to cover. Where I miss lessons because of competition or whatever, I stay back after school to make up for it.

And then even so things still mess up.

Heck, even piano was screwed. I failed by 16 marks.

I really don’t know what to do right now or how I should be feeling. I know if I did my best I should be happy. But people don’t care whether its your best or not because all they care about is the absolute and not the relative.

And then its also upsetting that you know that because you did better before that people expect so much of you.

And then theres the people you’re supposed to be an example to, the people who look up to you. How do I explain myself to them.....

Things look pretty bleak right now.....

Right now I feel somewhat disappointed, a little confused, and really really sad.

Precipitate 10:43 PM

Lately stuff has been pretty much insane.

Which would kind of explain why nothing has been appearing here. Exam revision has been pretty frantic, leaving little time for anything else. Right now is the middle of exams and both Lang Arts papers, both Physics papers, C Maths 1 and IHS are already done. I think everything except Lang Arts was pretty screwed.

Anyway exams end on friday. 5 days more.

Some of us got away with not studying for final exam last year and still got pretty decent marks. But I guess that doesn’t work in Year 3. Not with the likes of having Bose, Kwang Pow, Kenneth Ong all at the same time.

Its quite ridiculous really, having to teach myself mole calculations and stoichometry, figure out malgudi days essay myself, and go learn the whole year’s C Math from the textbook, again, by myself. I don’t really see the point in attending lessons where I learn more by myself because some people don’t really put in any effort into teaching their lessons.

Anyway on a happy point, today is 10 October. Which means that its just one more month to go before the launch of Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 :)

Oh yeah and if you want to play against me in COD4 like during the holidays at the end of the year or something you can go to the About page to find my gamer tag :)

P.S. if anyone can find out Jon Tang’s COD4 gamer tag, can you please tell me? :D

muahahahaha...

Bits and Pieces 10:36 PM

The happenings of the last few weeks have pretty much been arriving in little fragments that are not really enough to have a blog post for each one. So today I will be doing what my last year class frequently finds me doing in Mrs Tee’s ePOD lessons. That is grouping my points together.

My grouping of points last year was actually quite funny cos every time I raise my hand to say something it begins with (let’s say I have three points to talk about) “I have 3 points to make...” And so on depending on how many points I grouped together. Eventually Noel succinctly stated to the whole class the effect of point grouping: “Allister can you stop grouping your points together because the only thing we remember after you’re done is your last point” XD

Thus ended the grouping of points.

Anyway lets go all the way back to the day after The Meeting (previous post), last last Wednesday. PIano practical exam. Fail. For sure. Because every piece had a ton of mistakes, and the scales got messed up real bad too. No need to wait for results already, I know when I’ve failed. A bit stupid in retrospect, that I took the exam knowing I didn’t have enough practice because I didn’t have the time to practice.

Thursday I borrowed OS X Snow Leopard Install DVD from someone. Thanks a million to that person :) Don’t wanna mention who here, later he gets bugged by lots of people XD

Friday was Year 1 First Aid at NCDCC which I was teaching. Then had to coordinate the practical test at the end of the day. At the end of it all I was dead tired, from running all over the place to make sure things go smoothly. Thanks to all the Year 3s who helped me out here :)

On the same day Ms Fiona Ho had to sort out the New South Wales Writing competition for both Year 3 and 4 into the various classes. The amount of entries were a stack of paper more than 40cm high. About 3/4 didn’t write their class down so she had to compare with the class lists and sort them one by one.

She was busy that day so me and some other people helped her to sort it out. Thanks so much people :) And thanks a million Nicholas for coming over from 3.9 during free period, and also taking over most of it when I had to attend to C Math work :) I would have died if not for you.

Wednesday of the next week after school we had NCDCC camp planning meeting. Year 2s are usually supposed to plan the year end camp, with the Year 3s kind of guiding them along. We were pretty much hands-off this year, and I think that was good. Tell people what to do but not how to do it and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Saturday was NCDCC Service Day, basically going around the HDB flats and surveying people on fire safety as well as giving out pamphlets. After we came back to school at about noon, I had lunch with Nicholas at Broadway. It was nice to be able to spend time with a friend to catch up on each other’s life :) Talked about all the funny things that happen in our class (Bose, Kwang Pow, etc. all the gossip XD)

Yups that’s what’s happened the past weeks.

The Meeting 8:05 AM

We had this S/NCO meeting after school.

The first part went quite okay. Discussing stuff like Service Day or attendance matters. Then the second part was about something that I figure everyone felt very strongly about, leadership approach. I think that was the most important part of the meeting, but the way someone acted got on my nerves.

Honestly I think you should know that a meeting is a civilized discussion, where we all sit down nicely and conduct ourselves professionally. It does not entail rudely interrupting other people when they are talking, frequently as and when you please. It also does not entail having the need to raise your voice and start shouting. That tends to give the impression that because you cannot get your point across with logic, you do it with volume.

In the end I moderated the meeting.

Firstly lets talk about the way you approached Year 1 foot-drill. You have enough people as it is to run your lesson. Everyone before you has done so with as much or less people. You ask for more people because you think it might make the lesson more efficient. The thing is, asking for a instructor cadet ratio of 1:1 is quite unreasonable, seeing as how you have 30+ cadets, and seeing as how we are still a small new CCA (in this school anyway).

We notify you that you cannot ask Year 2s to help you because they are very busy having to rush to finish foot-drill silver and rescue by the end of the year, and suggest you ask some Year 3s seeing as how they are freer. Then you go on and on about how they would not be able to teach, how they are unreliable, how they would not help at all.

Here’s what the problem was. You didn’t even give them a chance to prove themselves, and you were very judgmental, and are forming prejudices on no observations and evidence. You have absolutely no trust at all in your counterparts or anyone else for that matter. How on earth do you expect to run a CCA when you treat everyone else as idiots?

And then after you complain that the Year 3s won’t be helpful you then go on to complain that you don’t have enough manpower. Then you expect us to be able to solve that. Like what the hell?

Then the discussion moved on to the debate on leadership styles. It was the classic debate on dictatorial versus delegative/democratic leadership. You’ve tried a completely dictatorial approach from day 1. It has failed to work and only resulted in the Year 1 and 2s hating you and doing everything they can to rebel. So we ask you to consider a different approach, yet you don’t even give it a thought or consider trying.

People frequently confuse leadership with being a b**ch.

Forcing people to do stuff by yelling at them, terrifying them, or punishing them if they don’t listen, is rubbish leadership. Heck. It isn’t even leadership. Its intimidation and bullying. Leadership is when you are able to guide people and point them in the right direction because you’ve won their respect and trust. Its about motivating and empowering your people.

Its when people feel that you are approachable and are comfortable to bring their problems to you, because they have begun to trust that you can solve them. Why in the world are you trying to create barriers between you and your people? I have never felt the need to be formal, never felt the need to keep my distance from people I’m supposed to lead. Why have you?

You can’t lead by “talking down” at people, only by “talking to” people. You have to be “one with your people” to be able to lead them, and you’ll get nowhere with the “hierarchical” frame of mind, you’ll get nowhere thinking that you are “superior” to your people. The only way to lead is by treating everyone as your equal.

There is also a huge difference between being strict, and being fierce. You can be strict but you should not be fierce. You should keep a good standard and not allow people to cut corners etc, but you should not tekan people for mistakes. In other words, it is much better to just tell people what’s wrong and let them go fix it rather than tekan them.

The end product of leadership is not to create people that listen to you. That is a terribly simplistic and backward thinking frame of mind. The end product of leadership is to make sure your people will become outspoken, independent thinking people. People with their own opinions, people who will stand up for what they think.

You are there as a leader not to control people, but simply to give them a nudge in the right direction, and to let them figure out the rest. You are there not to command people, but only to guide them a little when they so need it.

We all make mistakes. I made a hell lot of them when I first started. I still do. We all do.

The thing the rest of us took issue with was not so much the mistakes regarding the subject matter as it was your approach to the discussion of these. Throughout the discussion, it didn’t feel like you were taking any of our views seriously at all. It just felt like you dismissed our views without even properly considering them.

The important thing is not about whether or not we make mistakes. The important thing is whether or not we take the time to evaluate seriously the alternative viewpoints that other people have presented. We are all human, and thus subject to the “human condition”, where we will never be able to see thing from a wholly objective and unbiased perspective. It is therefore important that we consider perspectives opposite to our own such that our subjectiveness would have less profound impact on our judgements.

We are not asking you to agree completely with what we think.

We are only asking that you give it some thought.
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I hope that you take me seriously this time and not treat this commentary as just another bunch of text which you can print out and show to everyone to somehow vindicate your argument that I write outrageous nonsense on this blog. Don’t let me down.