Upset

You know that feeling when nothing seems to go right?

Like how you know that you couldn’t have done any better but what you did was still bad anyway.....

Like knowing you tried your best but knowing that that that isn’t even enough...

That’s how things are looking like from where I am.

Pretty much every paper was messed up save for Language Arts and Biology. Even the papers that were apparently easy according to many other people like Chemistry and A Math’s I messed up too.

Its not like I’m lazy and couldn’t care less or anything. I did the past year papers weeks in advance. I read the textbook cover to cover. Where I miss lessons because of competition or whatever, I stay back after school to make up for it.

And then even so things still mess up.

Heck, even piano was screwed. I failed by 16 marks.

I really don’t know what to do right now or how I should be feeling. I know if I did my best I should be happy. But people don’t care whether its your best or not because all they care about is the absolute and not the relative.

And then its also upsetting that you know that because you did better before that people expect so much of you.

And then theres the people you’re supposed to be an example to, the people who look up to you. How do I explain myself to them.....

Things look pretty bleak right now.....

Right now I feel somewhat disappointed, a little confused, and really really sad.