Also, someone else did something really selfless for me this morning, thanks a million too :) ..... I don't think I can write it here because some people will think it is favoritism.....
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If ever this week I walked past you without saying a hello, if ever we saw each other and I didn't wave back, if every we found each other round the corner and I left without a word......I'm sorry..... I really am..... Its just I had so much on my mind.....
Someone made a snide comment about me being at the bottom of the C Math homework list. Look, you are not the one who has to manage 9 subjects and 2 very demanding CCAs. You're not the one who has so much work to do that you work straight through every weekend 7 days a week without ever taking a rest once. You're not the one who is back in school every Saturday till after lunch. You are not the one who works straight through every holiday. You're not the one who has people calling you with work even when traveling. You're not the one who works almost 345 out of the 365 days of the year.
I tried my best to keep up with everything, and at least I don't copy blindly so that I can be at the top of the homework list. How could you say that to me. Those few words hurt like hell.
Have you ever felt so scared cos you tried your best but still don't understand?
Have you ever had to fight back the tears and hide all the pain and pretend everything was okay because so many people looked up to you and so many people expected so much?
Maybe the people who suffered the most are the people who had no choice but to go through all the pain alone......
I lost my respect completely for two more teachers. For the first one, you know very well that you didn't teach us "log" or "ln" properly. You know that almost everyone is copying homework because of your homework list thing. You know that half the class doesn't know what is going on. You know that half the class is gonna fail/do badly for the exam. Yet you are not even worried or concerned. What kind of teacher are you?
For the second one, how could you be so deceitful to spread negative remarks about me behind my back? If you knew I was gonna fall and hurt myself badly (figuratively), the least you could have done was have the courage and honesty to criticize me to my face, instead of telling people that I'm gonna fail at what I try to do and standing by and laughing as I fall. That is hardly the kind of support you should be giving your researchers. If you criticized me to my face, maybe I'll be sad for a while, but through it all I would at least respect you for your honor.
I should just go commit hara kiri. Exams are less that a week away, and I'm gonna be missing half of tomorrow's lessons. How could some people be so f***ing stupid to put Ideas in Action presentations so close to exams?
I know why this world has so little nice people left. Cos when you're nice people just take advantage of you...... When you're hardworking, people just push all the work to you. I was naive, stupid..... to try to lie to myself..... to tell myself to trust so many people so easily...... to believe that all people are good people.....
I know what's the school's root problem..... some of our (adult) leaders are so obsessed with winning awards, that this comes at the expense of student's studies and health. Now they prioritize CCA over studies, and if we fail our exams, they just kick us out of IP without a second thought. I hate the way you did everything out of jealousy. I'm not christian, but I don't think you have the right to call yourself one.
Our students nowadays, they don't care about the school name anymore, not because they are bad/lazy people, but because the sense of ownership of this school is lost..... and with it the sense of belonging....
Someone made a snide comment about me being at the bottom of the C Math homework list. Look, you are not the one who has to manage 9 subjects and 2 very demanding CCAs. You're not the one who has so much work to do that you work straight through every weekend 7 days a week without ever taking a rest once. You're not the one who is back in school every Saturday till after lunch. You are not the one who works straight through every holiday. You're not the one who has people calling you with work even when traveling. You're not the one who works almost 345 out of the 365 days of the year.
I tried my best to keep up with everything, and at least I don't copy blindly so that I can be at the top of the homework list. How could you say that to me. Those few words hurt like hell.
Have you ever felt so scared cos you tried your best but still don't understand?
Have you ever had to fight back the tears and hide all the pain and pretend everything was okay because so many people looked up to you and so many people expected so much?
Maybe the people who suffered the most are the people who had no choice but to go through all the pain alone......
I lost my respect completely for two more teachers. For the first one, you know very well that you didn't teach us "log" or "ln" properly. You know that almost everyone is copying homework because of your homework list thing. You know that half the class doesn't know what is going on. You know that half the class is gonna fail/do badly for the exam. Yet you are not even worried or concerned. What kind of teacher are you?
For the second one, how could you be so deceitful to spread negative remarks about me behind my back? If you knew I was gonna fall and hurt myself badly (figuratively), the least you could have done was have the courage and honesty to criticize me to my face, instead of telling people that I'm gonna fail at what I try to do and standing by and laughing as I fall. That is hardly the kind of support you should be giving your researchers. If you criticized me to my face, maybe I'll be sad for a while, but through it all I would at least respect you for your honor.
I should just go commit hara kiri. Exams are less that a week away, and I'm gonna be missing half of tomorrow's lessons. How could some people be so f***ing stupid to put Ideas in Action presentations so close to exams?
I know why this world has so little nice people left. Cos when you're nice people just take advantage of you...... When you're hardworking, people just push all the work to you. I was naive, stupid..... to try to lie to myself..... to tell myself to trust so many people so easily...... to believe that all people are good people.....
I know what's the school's root problem..... some of our (adult) leaders are so obsessed with winning awards, that this comes at the expense of student's studies and health. Now they prioritize CCA over studies, and if we fail our exams, they just kick us out of IP without a second thought. I hate the way you did everything out of jealousy. I'm not christian, but I don't think you have the right to call yourself one.
Our students nowadays, they don't care about the school name anymore, not because they are bad/lazy people, but because the sense of ownership of this school is lost..... and with it the sense of belonging....
8 comments:
who's the second teacher?
goh yan yih, SRC bio research...
Is there something fundamentally wrong with the way I do stuff.... or is there something wrong with nearly all the CCAs in this school?
nope.
its the way it is.
everybody is beginning to put CCAs first...
sigh....
Sometimes I think I can make a difference, change the world and make everyone happy....
I lie to myself too much.....
No way Ali, being hardworking and nice does not mean ppl will take advantage of you. To look at the brighter side, at least you KNOW you're hardworking and nice. And about the c maths and studies, we're all willing to help you! You can come to us if you need help, we'll love to help you, considering how NICE you are. And sometimes, when things are just that difficult, in these times, u MUST do your best, and at the end, you'll come out saying that it made you stronger! =) don't worry too much man. We’re all here for you. xD
hey ali, dean here my new blog.
Dun worry, we all feel this way sometimes. But life is too short to be depressed over small things. U can borrow my c math file anytime
PS: I am sorry if I have offended you in any way this year.
wow..... thanks..... :)
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